So I’ve just found out that this is actually a thing. There’s people out there that go to restaurants to eat (as you do) but they do it without any clothes on. Like stark naked. Everyone in the room is nude. Waiters, waitresses, bar tenders, chefs and of course the guests…
You kidding me or what?
Who’s idea was this?
And who are these places aimed at? Couples, families, surely not children… surely not?
Also why am I even writing about this and how is it relative to health and fitness?
Well I’m not sure about the last one but I did do a bit more research on nude dining and upon investigation I found out more about this unusual craze.
Ps. For those that have read to this point and wanna clock off fair enough I can’t blame you. For those of you that wanna read on… let’s get nude!
So there’s ‘nude pop-up restaurants’ all over the world in Paris, London, the US, Tokyo and Sydney. And it’s really popular! There’s wait-lists and also requirements of potential guests too.
Now if you go back to ancient times you could say eating without clothes on was the norm but nowadays when we’re all just a little bit sensitive about pretty much everything, nude dining would be classed by most as super offensive and controversial.
Still there’s a lot of free spirited naturists out there that just wanna get their damn clothes off and have a meal in public doing it. Good on ‘em I guess. As long as they’re not hurting anyone what’s the issue?
Well there is none but it does get the mind ticking over as to how a nude night out may look….
I’m just trying to picture myself at the table at one of these joints surrounded by other guests, balls and all hanging out asking the waiter what the soup of the day is. Then watching on whilst his (you know what) dangles beside me while he feverishly writes down the order on his notepad. How I’m supposed to keep a straight face to this is beyond me.
Not sure if I’d be game enough to do it to be honest. Maybe if I was 10 beers deep I’d think about it but I can think of 100 better things to do with my time in my birthday suit than eat dinner surrounded by nude strangers.
And who do you go with? I can understand a couple going together but it’s probably not somewhere you’d take your mum for Mother’s Day or celebrate your child’s 5th birthday party. Is it??
Do friends just go with each other. What do they say? Hey you wanna get nude and go out for dinner? Yep sounds like a great idea! I guess from a girls point of view at least there’s no spending hours figuring out what to wear.
So does that mean its just all couples? Apparently you’re not allowed to engage with other peeps there either. As if curiosity isn’t gonna get the better of you and you won’t be checking people out.
Ah look how saggy that lady’s boobs are darl. Yeah and look at that guys penis. His mates must call him tripod.
And what if you’re single. Do people go to these places to pick up? At least you know what you’re getting straight up ay. There’s no beating around the bush. Pardon the pun.
And what happens if someone gets a little too excited whilst talking dirty to their loved one on the other side of the table? Maybe that’s where the napkin goes. Well you can’t tuck it into your shirt can ya? Ha!
And what music do they play? Is it one of those hustle and bustle type restaurants where you can hear the chefs in the kitchen, there’s loud music playing and a lot of laughter and chatting amongst guests.
Or is it very posh and subdued and romantic with a light piano in the background and you can barley hear a whisper from the table next to you.
Hmm I wonder…
There’s one of these nude restaurants in Japan and some of their rules have sparked a bit of an outcry.
Check these rules out…
No one over 60 is allowed. This is interesting. I guess the younger generation would be more inclined to get nude than the more conservative oldies. However I believe it’s because it’s to ensure other guests have a nice experience. Perhaps having 60 year old nude bodies brushing past you on the way to the toilet whist you’re about to take a bite of your steak isn’t one of those nice experiences.
Customers get weighed before they’re allowed to come in. Anyone more than 15kgs over the average weight for their height gets turned away. Discriminating? Yeah you could say so. Once again it’s from the point of view of making the evening ‘aesthetically pleasing’ for all guests. Coz being surrounded by anyone nude is pleasing whilst you’re eating dinner right?
Those with tattoos will be turned away.
Well, there goes my invite and half the population. Damn it.
Those who are beautiful but still overweight can be let in at the managements discretion. Holy shit they’re going there are they? Haha gee whiz! This reminds me of the old days where you could only get in to a night club if you’re surrounded by hot birds. And what does the staff member say when someone rocks up and they don’t fit the ‘beautiful’ tag? I’m sorry sir you can’t come in because your nose and ears are too big. There’s a subway just down the road if you’d like to try something else.
No phones allowed. Ok I can understand this. Although in the day and age of selfies and making sure your Insta game is on point, if you didn’t post a pic of you nude dining did you really go? If they did allow phones though I’m tipping there’d be some law suits right around the corner so fair enough.
Guests are also asked not to be a nuisance and talk to or touch other guests. Ok this dispels the thought I had of these joints being one massive orgy but not talking to other guests is a bit much.
What if you bump into your neighbours from across the road whilst you’re waiting to be seated? What you can’t say hello and just have to ignore them? Where do you look? You probably can’t look down. Awkward!
So to be honest I’m not really sure where I’m going with this blog but if I can relate it back to health and fitness in some way then I’d suggest if you’re keen on possibly trying one of these nude dining restaurants (especially in Japan) you better get to the gym and get into shape otherwise you might get shown the door.
There’s one thing for sure, I doubt you’ll see me anytime soon at one of these places. But each to their own I guess.
And to those of you that are comfortable in your own skin and game enough to try this I commend you. This definitely takes pants off Friday to another level.
‘’If you have a body, we can help you’’
Infinite Fitness Peninsula