WHY DO WE ALWAYS WANT WHAT WE CANT HAVE
There’s something about what we can’t have or don’t have that makes us want it even more.
Why is that?
And why do we seem to get complacent and even bored with the things we already do have?
As a result we’re always chasing things.
Money, happiness, acceptance, the hot babe across the road, the stud with the perfect guns, the good life, the perfect look, the dream home…
The list goes on.
I guess there’s an element of chasing that’s good for us. It helps drive us and keeps us focused. Gives us a bit of purpose. We are a very goal orientated species. Nothing wrong with that.
However sometimes what we chase isn’t actually what we want. In fact there’s a very strong case that EVERYTHING we chase isn’t actually what we want at all and it’s all to do with the mind.
If you haven’t already noticed through your years of living, your mind is a very powerful tool. So powerful in fact that it can play tricks on you.
When it comes to how you view the world, what your desires, dreams and goals are it’s all manufactured by your mind. Through a series of life events (some good some bad) your mind then goes to work and constructs what an ideal scenario would look like for you. Then, through imagination it creates what it would be like to have something or someone and turns it into a fantasy.
We imagine this thing or this person to be perfect and we then proceed to fantasise about what it would be like having it. We don’t take any notice of possible flaws or shortcomings because that takes away from our fantasy. It ruins the story. So we shove under the carpet anything that interferes with the perfect image we’ve created in our head.
This is our mind deceiving us…
To add to this – the less of it we get, the more of it we want. The more we fantasise. The more our minds go to work on constructing this flawless image of what it would be like once our desired object or goal is realised.
And the more we see what other people have, the more we want it too. It only fuels our desire.
It’s like we have an obsession and want to prove to ourselves and others that we are worthy of having it and we deserve to. It’s our right. Our mind told us so.
The funny thing is, most of the time once we’ve caught what it is we’ve been chasing, we realise not long after it doesn’t do it for us anymore so we get rid of it and start chasing something else.
It’s like we say – is that it? I thought my whole life was gonna be better once I got this. What happened to this fantasy I had in my head about running through fields of beautiful flowers and sun and peaceful music and unicorns and love and shit…
Doesn’t take long to realise that whatever we were chasing only gave us a short term form of pleasure. That’s why we got over it so quickly. We are now left scratching our heads as to why our super human image didn’t line up with reality…
Oh well, better start chasing something else.
The process starts again. Never satisfied, we have to again fulfill our appetite for chasing what we want and don’t have.
This is where you might need to stop and check yourself.
Understand that you’ll just keep going down the same path if you’re not conscious of what just happened.
Your mind created a game and you played. You left disappointed and unsatisfied. But still wanna play again. Addicted to the fantasies you wanna jump straight back in to another game and go chase something else.
Now this is fine. However the lesson here should be that you need to understand it’s all good and well to chase goals and get things you don’t have but also remember the reality of it once it’s caught may not stack up to what you’ve constructed in your mind. You could just be wasting your time.
The people that have the power to understand this concept are extremely rare. These people know very well that the desire to get what they want isn’t blurred by a fantasy of what it may look like. They just focus on the end result. They get it, they enjoy it, take it in and they move on to the next.
This is a massive difference to the person that constantly gets disappointed and feels let down by chasing goals that are unfulfilling.
It does beg the question though – if we get so bored so quickly after we get what we want, did we really want it in the first place or was it purely the challenge of getting it that motivated us?
Is it an ego thing? Is it to prove we are worthy? Maybe it brings us power and the feeling of being in control….
It’s an interesting concept and one that I encourage you to look into a little more.
Your fantasies about wanting what you can’t or don’t have will remain and will drive you nuts with ‘what if’s’ purely because of the games your mind is playing. You will continue to thirst for it and that unfulfilled sense of curiosity will keep you endlessly craving it.
My point is – chasing things is fine. But be wary of getting caught up with the mind games and recognise when it’s playing games on you. Make sure you ask yourself why do I want it? Is it the chase? Is it just to get an ego hit? To make me feel better? Increase my self esteem? Prove someone wrong? Or is it purely just because you want to play the game?
We always want what we can’t have.
Do we though?
Think about it…
‘’If you have a body, we can help you’’
Ben
Infinite Fitness Peninsula
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